What’s the point of all this, Alan?

I read this article today on Rookie about being yourself and staying true to who you are. When I think about being myself, I think of how I dress above anything, because for me it’s the easiest form of self-expression because it’s visual. It’s also what makes me unique.

I’m also reading Romeo and Juliet now, and Romeo, in the beginning, is very melodramatic and in love with love itself. I’m starting to feel like I am more in love with the idea of being unique and true to myself than I am unique and true. I am starting to feel that my clothes are less a reflection of myself and more a reflection of what I want other people to see.

I also realized what I want with fashion. I want it to transform me and make me part of it when I am wearing the clothes I put together. I want to look poetic and beautiful.

It is on that note that I vow to go shopping soon. I need some flowy things as opposed to my random color blocking that looks like I got dressed in the dark.

More updates will come when I find some inspiration.


11 thoughts on “What’s the point of all this, Alan?

  1. Yes! I know exactly what you mean. And sometimes I feel like the only reason I want to be unique is because I’m scared of being like every one else… and that I really just like the feeling of people RECOGNIZING me as unique more than just BEING unique. If that makes sense? Although on the other hand, I just love the way I dress and I hate A&F and that shtuff… But I totally feel ya :)

    Also, completely unrelated… are you going to the apocalyptour??? I’M SO EXCITED!!!


  2. I really love this. I love the way you write actually, and don’t worry about if it seems as if you dressed in the dark. If you like it and feel comfortable with it, all is good.


  3. I totally get your thoughts, I feel the same way. But does liking and wanting to be who you are and who you seem to be make it any less “you”?
    Oh and by the by, hey guess what’s beautiful? Those words you just wrote :) I love words, oh my god.

  4. I’ve been thinking a lot about this recently. I’ve started to wonder if the things I do and how I dress are actually the things I like or more of just how I want to be seen. I just want to figure out if it’s actually an honest representation of who I am as a person.
    This is a really great post by the way.

  5. I totally understand when you say…”I am starting to feel that my clothes are less a reflection of myself and more a reflection of what I want other people to see.”
    Thanks for this article!

  6. I really love this post. I think that part of who we are is how people see us though. We’re just reflections of each other, if that makes any sense at all….

  7. eeee this is a superficial interjection, but can i just say, though, that you are literally stunning? you look like a movie star. those lips!! those bangs! you are truly fabulous.

  8. It’s so nice to hear someone being totally honest! I am a couple years older than you I think, but when I was your age, I think I was quite similar with the whole being “more in love with the idea of being unique and true to myself than I am unique and true” – don’t worry – part of growing up (even though I am only a little older than you!) is realising that and then being like, ‘cool, I will rectify the situation’. Also, i’m sorry, I’ve been researching and asking around since you posted this but I still don’t get it… What’s the reference in the title?

  9. Dear Ruby,
    I just wanted to say I am so so sorry about your mom. Like I said on the Rookie comment page, I will do a hundred mantras for you tonight. We all love you so much and I know it doesn’t mean much coming from someone who has never met you, but I just wanted to let you know that I care.

    Much love,
    Gwen <3

Whenever I get a comment, I become as happy as a lark blowing bubbles in the dark.

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