That girl think she’s the queen of the neighborhood. I’ve got news for you: she is!

The title is a lyric from Bikini Kill, if you’re wondering. AND NOW, a wall of text for you to skim over.

I am a feminist. And for the longest time, I tried to tell myself I didn’t mind what anyone thought of me. I tried to make myself believe that if someone called me fat I wouldn’t even care. And sometimes I don’t. I don’t care what people think of my clothes because I know that the majority of people who will criticize them don’t know a thing about fashion outside of Teen Vogue and Abercrombie catalogs. And I am not ashamed of my body. My self-image is fine. But for so long I’ve not touched makeup because I thought it was giving in to society’s unrealistic beauty standards which include perfect skin among many other impossible things. I didn’t wear flattering things to show my rebellion against what media says “looks good”. I didn’t even pierce my ears, because I didn’t want to seem like the media had any influence on my perception of beauty. (Also, I hate pain.)

But what if I WANT to have flawless skin?

Today I had an epiphany: it’s not anti-feminist to wear makeup or try to look pretty. You’re not giving in to anything.

If someone asked me why I dress the way I do, I’d say it’s because I like the way it looks. In other words, I dress to look good, based upon my own standards of “good”. If I said nobody else should do the same thing, what kind of feminist would I be? Everyone should be able to dress the way that makes them feel good and the way they think looks good, even if that is influenced by the media.

And, today, I wanted to have a sort of angel-like appearance based upon the neighborhood boys’ perception of the Lisbon girls in “The Virgin Suicides”. I wanted to seem light and wintery. And for the first time in about a billion years, I put on some concealer. I did it because it looked good with my pale, simple, flowy outfit. I liked how I looked. I did it for me, not for everybody else, and that’s what made me feel pretty.


12 thoughts on “That girl think she’s the queen of the neighborhood. I’ve got news for you: she is!

  1. Hi ruby! I love your blog! Aren’t those lyrics to bikini kill though, not bratmobile?

    sending blessings from my heart *blows kiss*,


  2. Hi, Ruby.

    I’ve a huge coincidence of appropriateness for you.

    I just watched a film, “The Winslow Boy” from a 1940-ish play set in 1908 England. The (young adult) daughter of the family is a suffragette. This is perhaps the best exchange from the film:

    SIR ROBERT: ….That really was a most charming hat, Miss Winslow.

    CATHERINE (Miss Winslow): I’m glad you liked it.

    SIR ROBERT: It seems decidedly wrong to me that a lady of your political persuasion should be allowed to adorn herself with such a very feminine allurement. It really looks so awfully like trying to have the best of both worlds.

    CATHERINE: Does it indeed?

    SIR ROBERT: It does.

    CATHERINE: And is that particularly female trait? [having the best of both worlds, I think she means] I am not a militant, you know, Sir Robert. I don’t go about shattering glass or pouring acid down pillar boxes.

    SIR ROBERT: I’m very glad to hear it. Both those activities would be highly unsuitable in that hat. I have never yet fully grasped, what active steps you take to propagate your course, Miss Winslow?

    CATHERINE:I’m an organizing secretary at the West London Branch of the Woman’s Suffrage Association.

    SIR ROBERT: Indeed. Is the work hard?

    CATHERINE: Very.

  3. Hi Ruby, I am Elizabeth, sixteen, from Montreal and I am in love with this post!
    I think everbody should think this way
    p.s- I kind of like you and the way you assume who you are…

  4. I completely understand this! I’ve always struggled with the idea of trying so hard to not be “mainstream” that I spend to much time thinking about it, if that makes any sense? It’s good to find a balance :)

  5. Thank you for this! Although I haven’t struggled with this as much as I assume you have (from this post) it is something which crosses my mind as well. I think it affect most people who care about standing out (ie. the awesomersss) But heck, not doing something because everyone’s doing it, is letting yourself be influenced negatively too, right? I’m free, I’ll do whatever I want! Thanks again, and oh by the way, Bikini Kill is awesome. I love Rebel Girl. I think many girls have this Rebel Girl who they up look to, wo fascinates me. In my case it’s probally Effy from Skins (oh, the originality, no?) I am a rebel though, whether I rebel physically or not. At least I’d like to think so.
    I am making little sense. You are great and OMG (fangirl moment here) I love your blog! And I want your black lipstick. If you can’t wear it, can I?

  6. hehe ruby! by the way, i love your thing about when people post. also, this is a great way of thinking and i wish the whole world could be like this. you are clearly a very stable person. few people will do what you are doing. you have guts and never lose them cause you are beautiful.

Whenever I get a comment, I become as happy as a lark blowing bubbles in the dark.

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